For Rita Reinecker, life as the daughter of a well-known writer was far from a fantasy. Rita’s father was Herbert Reinecker, a prolific German novelist, dramatist, and screenwriter who lived in his own world of plot and dialogue. She grew up feeling not pretty enough for her father and not good enough for her mother.

Her life revolved around her emotionally unavailable father, who blew in and out of her life. Rita longed for a normal family life, and the incessant hunger for acceptance left the growing girl wanting much more. Always looking for signs that her papa loved her, she lived on an emotional rollercoaster of hope and disappointment. Wanting only to be loved, Rita hurled herself into many relationships. Meanwhile, life with her controlling mother bred low self-esteem and self-doubt, leaving her feeling inadequate, unloved, and unwanted.

Now, in her memoir, she recalls her lifelong search for her father’s love and explores how she came to terms with its effects on her life.